just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
A+ Viking dick
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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