I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
