I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
