You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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