Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
