My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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