I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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