Nicole vs. Life
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize