He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
