franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
