Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
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