Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I cut my penus on the lid.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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