They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
