Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
