I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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