We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
