I'm gonna have a badass scar
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
