Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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