well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Vodka?
Forever.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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