Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
