I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
