i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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