last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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