something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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