Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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