i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Randomize
