She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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