Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
