She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
