all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
