weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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