chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
