Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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