I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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