Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize