"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
