Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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