My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize