No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
