we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
