Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
