I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
