Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
