If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
