And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
