"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
