I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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