but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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