maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
