Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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