she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
