What a fucking waste of an outfit
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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