YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
