Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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