then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize