omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
