we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
