She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
this hospital has no fireball
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Randomize
