There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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