its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
