Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
